Getting over oneself…

Over the last two weeks I have learnt that there is always SUNSHINE AFTER RAIN….is this a cliche, one of those random sayings that people post on facebook where you have no idea what it actually means but it sounds good so you like it anyway. Is this an underlying message from someone for someone, (in my case the answer to this is no) or is it a way of making the world know that hey life has been a little bit shit, but now it’s ok?

Mine is the latter, a couple of absolute shit weeks 16 days to be exact where I questioned everything about myself, my career, my WTF am I doing moments were every 5 mins, where my balance between home life, work life & social life, were so off it was causing quite an internal conflict where I seriously wanted to give the world the bird and go lie down and watch Netflix!

I had moments you can only write about, I dropped the 2 litres of milk on the kitchen floor and watched in horror as it splashed into every bloody nook and cranny it could find, the day I had to do open heart surgery on a $59 vacuum cleaner that would not suck (because I am still waiting 4 months for a part for my Shark Navigator liftaway!) which ended in fluff, dog hair and dust everywhere and no way of hoovering the mess up.  The day every eyeliner I owned (which is I admit is 3) decided to either break at the end or had worn down to the point I really had to sharpen (one can only scratch ones eyelids for so long before admitting it needs sharpening)….3 school kids, I tell you and not one bloody pencil sharpener to be found. FML.  FYI Wearing no eyeliner makes me look very very tired and very old, so for the next 2 days I had to resort to wearing sun glasses so every well meaning person I bumped into did not ask me if I was OK because I looked liked shit. And now I can only find one of my everyday black shoes which means I am wearing the white and black ones which give me blisters so I am walking around with the strap of the right one not actually on my heel! Then…..I caught my favourite (I live in it) top on the garage door nail and ripped a big hole in it…..!! And please do not get me started on hair ties…..these bastards take great pleasure in disappearing on the most worst of bad hair days where only a ponytail and cap will cut it, which in reality is pretty much 285 days a year for me and do I own 285 hair ties NO I bloody don’t!

What is that saying 3rd world problems??? most likely but on top of the stuff I definitely do not want to air in a blog, these little things “break the camels back”, become “moments like these Mintie moments” that can really push your otherwise gentle and calm nature to breaking point.    Needless to say I broke.

Soooo here comes the sun…..la la la la…here comes the sun… this morning I was sitting in the doc’s feeling sorry for myself because I was hungry but was not allowed to have breakfast and in on her motorised scootering wheelchair mode of transport came this lovely lady and her caregiver, my initial observation was she may only have had use of her hands and from the shoulders up but not much else, she was mid to late 60s maybe and her speech was a slightly slurred which indicated maybe a stroke. This lovely ladies smile just lit up the waiting room, she acknowledged and said hello and good morning to everyone, she asked how the lady next to her was, and she sat and just beamed happyness to a room where everyone was looking forlorn and down at their phones (me included).  Honestly she was a ray of sunshine, loud and proud and she made everyone smile, if angels playing harps had jumped out from her behind her no one would have been surprised.

My appointment was at 9am my doc was running 20mins late, which was a blessing because if she had been on time I would have missed my Sunshine after rain.  The kick up the butt I needed, in that instance I felt like such a fraud even though I am allowed to have issues and sometimes carry the weight of other peoples issues,  they are my issues that is normal but and here comes the but… compared to the struggles this lovely lady must have every day, I was simply pathetic.

My reality check hit me like a lightning bolt, an Epiphany moment, FFS Rachael get over yourself suck it up and bloody move on, stop being a 5ft 11 drama queen and just get on with it.

So I am no longer blaming on it on the moonshine…(sing it people)…don’t blame it on the sunshine, don’t blame it on the moonshine, blame it on the boogie….

Not sure how long this good weather of mine will last but the cliche of all cliche comes to mind.  There is always somebody worse off than yourself, and sometimes you just need to be reminded of that.

XOXO
Rach

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